I Love My Life

It’s been a while since I’ve opened up this “New Post” window. Actually, false: I’ve opened it several times. However, I haven’t quite found the words to say. There’s been so much going on in general that it’s hard to find time to sit down and craft a well-written blog post that consists of more than “UGH SCHOOL UGH LIFE UGH EVERYTHING SUCKS ACTUALLY NO I’M HAPPY I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING ASDALKGALKJSFA.” I shall attempt to be a bit more eloquent than that.

Basically I’ve been doing a lot of schoolwork, rehearsing, practicing, social networking, etc. In the process of forever complaining about life, I’ve almost gotten up to 2,000 tweets. I’m not sure whether to feel proud or pathetic. The tweets come in between late nights spent at the music school, abbreviated meals snuck in before rehearsals, and seemingly endless Chinese homework assignments.

I’ve also come to the realization that I have roughly (now less than) a month before I pack up and return to Suburbia for the summer. I wish I could say I was excited. I wish I could say I couldn’t wait to kick back and relax back in my home, doing nothing. Weirdly enough, though, I’m perfectly happy right now. I might have a Chinese skit to film, a Chinese song to learn, a double jury for my performance degree coming up, a philosophy paper, and all of my finals. And I might have just started hyperventilating thinking about all the crap I need to get through. And yet, I am, to some degree, thriving on the stress. All the shit I have to do forces me to get shit done, to leave the dorm room and associate with people. I’m feeling productive, social, tired–but like I’m actually accomplishing things. Call me weird, but it’s true. The empty gaps of time always get filled up, anyways.

Not to mention the fact that I’ve found a great place with amazing people here. I’m sure the sappiness will overflow later, but I seriously just love all of my friends so much. They’re supportive, they’re kind, they’re hilarious, and I’m going to miss not living down the street from all of them over the summer. I might even miss the music school a little bit, if only because the other people who inhabit it are so cool (And conversations with them are such a good way to procrastinate. It counts if we’re talking about violin, right?).

I’ve learned so much–not necessarily academically, although I have learned a lot there, too. But I’ve learned a lot about people, about life, about how to do laundry, how to not burn popcorn in the dorm kitchen, how to befriend people you weren’t initially fond of, how to lock yourself in a practice room for three hours and try to get better. I also have learned that I’ve got a hell of a lot more to learn–and that this is the place to start learning it. I love where I am, I love what I’m doing, and I can’t wait to come back and go even further.

~J

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